• Rise of the Silver Surfer Sinks

      Posted on June 25th, 2007 by mageditor

       

      By Joshua Garner
       

      I am an angry critic.

        I wasn’t always angry. In fact, before going to see the midnight showing of “Fantastic Four: The Rise of The of the Silver Surfer,” the follow up to the 2005 hit, I was quite forgiving. 

       I was willing to forgive my disappointment as the original film’s awful script.I was willing to forgive how slow it was, how UNentertaining, unlikable, and awkward the characters were. I was even willing to forgive myself for paying to see the latest film adaptation of a Marvel Comic franchise. 

         My forgiveness came in the hope that 20th Century Fox and film’s producers had learned their lesson on how to make a superhero film, much like they did with the X2: X-Men United.  But unfortunately, my hope gave way to the nostalgic feeling of anger. As I watched the film I realized it was the summer of 2005 all over again.     

      Supported by a returning cast and returning troubles, The Rise of the Silver Surfer picks up with a mysterious creation of craters popping up all over the globe followed by bazaar weather patterns. While mayhem spreads across the world, the Fantastic Four are relishing in their new found fame. They’ve changed: they have tans, cameras follow them wherever they go, and Sue (Jessica Alba) and Reed Richards (Ioan Gruffud ) are planning a rooftop wedding.     

        In the mist of the good times the Silver Surfer appears and ruins the wedding. He’s fast. He’s Cool. He looks like actor Doug Jones but sounds like Laurence Fishburne and MAN can he deliver a one liner. Imagine a bald Ken Doll dipped in silver and like Ken he is anatomically incorrect. The Fantastic Four eventually realize that the Surfer is just a middle man who does little more than prepare meals for an omniscient being called Galactus who feeds on planets. Oh, did I mention the lovable Doctor Doom makes a return?   

       The film has all the making of an action packed superhero movie but fails to rise to the occasion. You keep waiting for it the fun to begin, but it doesn’t until film credits start rolling. 

       I left the theatre angry, and a little less forgiving.

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